Breakout
by teenage.tradgedy
Summary: As she looks in her reflection, Lily sees a girl she doesn't recognize, and vows to let go and become the person she wants to be. With a little help from the people she'd least expect help to come from, Lily manages to do just that. ONESHOT Rated M due to swearing Cover photo taken from 9gag, image number 4902790


**Hey guys! I'm working on the next TMATSS chapter, I swear, but I seem to be suffering severe writers block. So this is my attempt at freeing my brain from said writers block. Hope you like it!**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters**

* * *

As she stared at her reflection in the Divination window, Lily Evans realized something quite frightening. The girl starting back at her was somebody she didn't recognize.

The girl in the mirror had two long red braids resting on her shoulders, ending near her waist. The fiery red nature of her hair was almost dulled by the braids, as if the twisting together of the locks had tamed them. She was wearing a school uniform that had been properly tucked, tied, pressed and spiffed to the point where they resembled the plastic clothes worn by Barbie dolls- flawless. Her properly pleated skirt was knee length, from under which her knee length socks shot down towards her black, properly polished shoes so that no portion of her leg was visible. Her tie was perfectly straight, covering the row of buttons on the front of her shirt, and her school blazer fell almost unbelievably perfectly upon her outfit, with even spacing on each side from the tie. The girl in the mirror looked like the perfect school girl- in fact, she was.

Lily Evans detested the girl staring back at her. Her clothes were too perfect. Her hair was too well kept. Her tie was too straight.

But if not the perfect schoolgirl, who was she supposed to be?

She turned her head to look over at the other students in class, most of them dozing off. If it weren't for the musings going through her head, she was certain she'd be one of them. Her eyes wandered towards the gaggle of girls seated on the other side of the room. They were wearing the same clothes as her- it was regulation uniform- but there was something different. Unlike her, they had abandoned their blazers in their dormitories and were simply wearing their shirts and ties. Their ties were slightly loosened, and their skirts were a few inches shorter than hers, as if they'd been rolled up at the hips.

Her eyes wandered then to the boys in the classroom, and noticed she was even better kempt than them- that, of course, was expected. They were boys for heavens sakes. There were, of course, some boys who were better kempt than others, she thought, as her eyes flickered over to the gaggle of boys in the back of the room. The four of them were notorious for breaking rules and being their own people, yet somehow three of four of them managed to rank in the top 10 when it came to their school grades. The four of them weren't even paying attention, rather, they were waving their wands inside their teacups and sniggering, rearranging the tealeaves to read something gruesome as they'd done on countless occasions, leading to amusing outbursts from Professor Sanders (better known as Professor Vague).

As she watched them, the most unkempt of all looked over in her direction and grinned widely. James Potter, of course, was the most unkempt boy in the entire school. His hair naturally grew in a mess, his shirt was untucked, his tie was hanging loosely around his neck, his glasses were slightly crooked, even his bloody _smile _was crooked. There was nothing about the boy that screamed 'neat'. They were as opposite as two people could be. Yet somehow he had always fancied her.

She turned away from the table without as much as a smile, and turned to stare at her teacup instead. According to the cup, she was fated for a short heroic life. She snorted. As if.

When class ended, she packed her stuff away and placed her bag lightly on her shoulder as she waited for her best friend to walk over.

"Hello Lilykins," Marlene sung, appearing beside her as the two began to make their way out of the classroom, "and how as Divination?"

"Splendid, as usual," Lily snorted delicately, and Marlene chuckled.

"Well I'd expect so, considering you spent the entire lesson glaring hatefully around the room. What's got your mind in a knot?" Marlene asked, and Lily shrugged lightly.

"Nothing," she said without cracking a smile. Marlene wouldn't understand.

"Well that's good and well," Marlene said, nodding her head. Marlene dressed similarly to Lily- immaculately- except her hair was braided in one long braid down her back. Lily examined her outfit and immediately felt sick to her stomach. What kind of person was she becoming?

Ever since the Severus incident last year, she had become even more swotty than usual. She had always dressed the way she had, yet he understood the person hiding within. The free spirit that had been imprisoned by the scared girl, which had led to Lily Evans allowing herself to become the ultimate nerd. And she hated herself for it.

"Hey there Evans," a voice said behind her, and from the look on Marlenes face, Lily knew who she would find standing behind her.

"Potter," she said stiffly, nodding her head.

"Don't you have something else to be doing right now?" Marlene asked bitterly, glaring at Potter, "Perhaps, coating the Great Hall in pudding?" she added with a snort.

"Great idea, thanks," he said, and Lily felt the side of her mouth twitch as Marlene huffed.

"I'll see you later, Lily," Marlene said stiffly, turning her nose in the air and walking away.

"Well someone's got a stick up their bum," Potter muttered, and Lily turned to give him a chastising look, to which he simply grinned. Honestly, the boy was like an overgrown toddler.

"What do you want Potter?" she sighed, and he shrugged.

"Just made my over to make some friendly conversation, given the fact that you spent the majority of the class checking me out," he winked, and Lily felt her face heat up in embarrassment.

"I did not," she said bluntly, and he laughed, throwing his arm around her shoulders.

"Oh pull the stick out of _your _bum Evans, it was a joke," he chuckled, "a concept you clearly don't seem to understand," he added, before tugging on one of her braids and jogging over to his friends.

* * *

That night as she finished showering, she wrapped the towel around her body and looked at herself in the mirror. The girl with long fiery red hair dressed in only a towel resembled her more than the girl in the school uniform had. The words Potter had said were still clanging around in her mind, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get them out.

_It was a joke…a concept you clearly don't seem to understand_

She scowled at herself in the mirror.

At that moment Lily Evans vowed to herself that she would change the way she had turned out. She would no longer be the perfect schoolgirl, but would instead allow herself to become plain, simple Lily Evans.

* * *

She started off slowly, by simply leaving her hair loose. She figured that was a good step for the first day of her transformation. As she made her way down to breakfast, she couldn't help but notice the people turning to look at her as she walked by, her fiery red hair bouncing slightly with ever step she took. She entered the Great Hall after taking a calculated breath, and walked straight towards her usual spot across from Marlene. The girl in question was eyeing her with concern as she sat down, painfully aware of the eyes that were flickering in her direction. She figured people would stare, given that she'd spent so many years dressed as the perfect nerd.

"You look a mess," Marlene said bluntly, "What did you do to your hair? Tie it up, for goodness sakes," she said, eyeing Lily's hair as if it were a personal insult. Lily felt her eyes tear up slightly, realizing the hole she'd dug as a swot was too deep for her to simply climb out of it, she reached into her bag for her hair pins. As Lily reached up to her hair, slightly embarrassed, she felt a hand land on her forearm.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" James Potter asked, looking slightly aghast.

"I know, I know," Lily said, slightly dejected, "It looks ridiculous, and I'm tying it back up."

"Who told you it looked ridiculous?" he asked, quirking a brow at her. She realized his hand was still resting on her forearm, and her arms were still raised towards her hair. She dropped them quickly.

"It does," said Marlene, "she looks a mess! Her hair is all over the place," she said, and Potter snorted.

"Just because you're allergic to anything that doesn't scream absolute swot doesn't mean everyone else is," he said to Marlene, before looking down at Lily, "it looks better Evans, leave it," he said, before walking away.

"You going to tie it up, or what?" Marlene asked, as Lily looked after Potter.

"Um…I think I'm going to leave it open."

* * *

There was a loud thump next to her in Divination, and she snapped her head up to see James Potter lowering himself onto the seat next to her.

"Can I help you?" she asked

"The question is, can _I _help _you_?" he said, and she rolled her eyes

"What makes you think I need your help?"

"Well evidently you took my advice and left your hair open, which by the way was the right thing to do as it looks fantastic," he said, and Lily flushed slightly, causing the right side of his mouth to quirk up.

"What does this have to do with me needing help?" she asked.

"Well the way I see it you're removing the stick from your bum like I advised yesterday," the boy said, dumping his bag atop the table, causing Lily to flinch, "and I thought you'd like some support in your attempt to become a normal person," he said, grinning, and Lily rolled her eyes

"I think I'm handling it fine, thanks," she said.

"So tomorrow morning if Marlene tells you to tighten your tie because you look like an uneducated banshee, are you going to listen to her or grant yourself the right to do as you please?" he asked, quirking a brow at her. He took her hesitation as an answer, "Exactly. So here I am," he smiled, and Lily couldn't help but smile back.

"Why do you care?" she asked, and he smiled.

"Because, Lily," he said.

"That's not an answer," she said, and he chuckled.

"Actually, it is."

* * *

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" James Potter asked as he threw himself down next to her on the Common Room sofa. She had been writing her Potions Essay, and the sudden jostles had caused her hand to spasm and draw a line across the page.

"Potter! Look what you did!" she scolded, and he shrugged, pulling out his wand and erasing the line of ink.

"Goodness Evans you'd think you were a Muggle," he said, and she narrowed her eyes at him as he threw his arm on the backrest behind her head, "So what's the answer?"

"To what?" she asked, and he rolled his eyes

"My question, Evans, not the bloody Potions Essay," he said, and she chuckled.

"I don't understand your question."

"I asked you what the plan was for tomorrow"

"I didn't say I couldn't hear you," she huffed, "I said I don't understand your bloody question."

"Merlin, woman, you kiss your mother with that mouth?" he asked, and Lily snorted.

"Hypocrite," she said, and he grinned.

"Guilty. I do kiss my mother with this mouth," he said, and Lily felt her face split into a grin of it's own accord, "I meant what's your breakout plan for tomorrow?"

"My breakout plan?" she echoed questioningly.

"Yes, the stick from bum removal plan," he said, "I'd call it that but it sounds pretty vulgar," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes

"I'd say it's pretty innocent for something leaving your mouth."

"Witty," he deadpanned, and Lily smirked.

"Are we sitting with Lily now?" a voice asked, and both of them turned their heads to see Peter Pettigrew lowering himself onto one of the armchairs.

"No," Lily said at the same time as James said "Yep."

"Why are we sitting with Lily?" Remus asked, smiling at Lily who smiled back- he was, after all, her fellow Prefect and she considered him a close friend.

"We're Lily's support team," James said, and Lily snorted.

"You make it sound like I'm a recovering alcoholic," she said.

"Didn't know you had that in you," Sirius said, throwing himself down on the sofa, so that he and James were on either side of Lily, "Hello Evans, how are you this fine evening?"

"Fine," she said bluntly, narrowing her eyes at Potter, who only grinned at her.

"What? There's nothing wrong with a support team, Evans."

"There is no support team needed!" Lily protested, her Potions essay laying forgotten on the coffee table.

"Lily," Sirius said, "the first step to overcoming something is admitting you have a problem," he said, and Lily glared at him.

"I don't have a problem."

"I'd say a raging temper is a problem," he muttered, and Lily shot him a nasty look, to which he only smirked.

"Lily's trying to slowly remove the stick from her bum," James said, and Lily squawked.

"Well that explains the hair," Sirius said, grinning, "It looks good Evans, I'm surprised I never noticed it before."

"That makes one of us," Lily said, causing James to smirk.

"What's going on here?" Marlene shrieked, approaching the area in front of the fire with an outraged expression on her face, "Lily!"

"What?" Lily asked, frowning at Marlene.

"Honestly Lily, why would you waste your time with a group of troublemakers?" she asked. Lily exchanged a glance with James, who turned to Marlene.

"It's really none of your business," he said simply, and Marlene glared at him.

"I'm disappointed in you Lily," she hissed, and turned on her heel to head up to the dormitories.

"Well fuck you," Lily grumbled, and the boys burst out laughing. "You should work with her on removing the stick up her bum," she huffed, and Sirius sniggered.

"I think it's lodged too far up, love. It would take years to remove, and frankly, we simply don't have the patience," he said, and Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"Don't call me love," she said, and Sirius chuckled.

"I see you're not that far along in the removal process," he said, and she rolled her eyes as the boys smirked.

"He has a point you know," James said, and she glared at him.

"She's my best friend," she said, "Stop it!"

"If she were really your best friend, wouldn't she be sitting here as your support team as opposed to us?" Peter asked, and Lily bit her lip

"She just doesn't understand," she said, "she's always been like this. She's a good person, she really is, she just…doesn't understand what it's like," she finished, and Remus nodded.

"She probably never will," he said bluntly, and Lily felt her eyes tear up slightly

"And on that pleasant note, we bid you goodnight!" Sirius said, clapping his hands, "we have urgent business to attend to," he said, and Lily frowned.

"It's only 7," she said, and he winked.

"Goodnight Lily," he said, and she rolled her eyes as the four boys stood up

"If you miss us, just remember, we're supporting you," Remus joked, and she chuckled, pulling her Potions essay towards her.

* * *

The next day she decided to really change. Not because she felt the need to, but because overnight her anger towards Marlene had increased, and all she really wanted now was to see her angered expression and red face.

When she walked into the Great Hall, her eyes automatically found the four boys, who turned to grin at her as she walked straight and plopped herself in front of her enraged friend, acting as if nothing was different, when in fact, everything was.

She had removed the blazer, wearing only her white school shirt with the first two buttons remaining open. The bottom half of her body had remained the same, and she thought it unlikely that she would do much more, maybe roll her skirt up once to show an inch of skin.

"You look like a slag," Marlene hissed.

"Thanks," Lily retorted, and Marlene narrowed her eyes at her.

"I don't even know you," she said, shaking her head, before grabbing her stuff and standing up, "You spend one evening with those four messy boys and you turn into a slag. What, did you let them share you?" she snapped, before turning on her heel and walking away, leaving Lily a little stunned, the breath knocked out of her as tears welled up in her eyes. She looked up and met Severus' eye across the room, and saw him quirk an eyebrow, as if asking her what was going on. She dropped her head onto her arms, her hair cascading all around her.

"Hello Evans," a jaunty male voice sung, and she felt the bench vibrate, as if someone had just sat down next to her.

"I don't know who I am anymore," she whispered into her arms, wagering that he hadn't heard her whisper. After all, nobody ever heard her. She jumped as she felt a warm hand on her back, circling in a soothing manner.

"Stop being an idiot," she heard him say, "you're Lily Evans," he said simply, "you're a kind, good hearted person who everyone adores. Seriously, I think there are first years that fancy you," he said. Lily felt a chuckle escape her, and knew when he started speaking again that he was smiling, "you haven't let people in because you're scared to get hurt after what happened after the Defense O.W.L, which is why you rely so much on Marlene because she was your crutch, and now that she's drifting away from you, you don't know who you are because you started to turn into her," he finished, "that sound about right?"

"When did you become a bloody therapist?" she grumbled, shocked that Potter had been able to sum up her emotional turmoil in one- albeit, run on- sentence.

"Again with the mouth Evans. Honestly, your poor mother," he said, and Lily laughed.

"Again with the hypocrisy Potter," she said and he chuckled, removing his hand from her back, allowing her to raise her head.

"So Evans, go out with me?" he asked, and Lily froze.

"What?" she asked, turning to frown at him, and he quirked a brow.

"You heard what I said," he said, before grinning, "Don't tell me you're going to reject me again," he said. His smile faltered when she continued to look at him blankly, "Bloody hell," he murmured, before getting up and walking away.

"Wait, Potter!" she called, but he continued to walk, leaving the Great Hall without looking back.

* * *

He hadn't sat with her in Divination. The thought haunted her all through dinner, as she sat by herself. She'd completely alienated Marlene, who was now sitting at the Ravenclaw Table with Adam McKinnon. She'd hurt James by not agreeing to go out with him and now her entire support team was gone. To be fair, they were his friends, but without him she had never felt so alone.

She felt the bench shake and looked across her to see Remus sitting down, looking glum.

"Hi," she said, and he looked up at her, his eyes slightly pained.

"I've come to pass on a message from Sirius," he said, and Lily froze, closing her eyes, knowing what was coming.

"You lot aren't speaking to me anymore," she said, and Remus nodded slowly.

"I thought it was too stupid a punishment Lil, I swear," he said, reaching his hand across the table to rest it on hers, "I mean, if you don't like the bloke then we cant punish you for not dating him," he said, and Lily looked up at him, "but apparently Sirius believes we should leave you be, so that James can move on," he said, and Lily nodded.

"Because if he keeps spending time with me he wont be able to," she whispered, and Remus nodded, squeezing her hand lightly.

"You okay Lily?" he asked, "I wont leave you alone if you're not," he said, and she shook her head.

"Just go, I just…I don't know," she sighed, lifting her bag off the bench beside her, turning to walk away.

"Lily," she turned around as Remus said her name, and saw a questioning look in his eyes, "Lily do you fancy James?" he asked, and Lily met his eyes.

"I…what…no!" she huffed and marched out of the Great Hall, but somehow, it didn't sound convincing, even to her own ears.

* * *

The next few days were rough, no doubt. Marlene wasn't talking to her. To top it off, apparently she and Adam McKinnon were getting closer, and if the rumors were true, had become tonsil hockey buddies.

The four boys had, it seemed, forgotten about the few days there were her support team. It was as if they had never happened. The only thing that showed her she hadn't imagined the relationship was when Remus would ask her if she were okay, to which she'd always answer yes.

Which was a blatant lie.

She wandered through the school blindly as the weeks went by, becoming lonelier and lonelier. People continued to smile at her in the hallways, make small talk, and joke around a little with her as they had always done, but somehow, Lily Evans had become the girl that everyone adored, yet had no friends.

Christmas break came around soon enough, and Lily couldn't have been more thankful for a break. However things were even worse when she got home, having been informed that Petunia, another person whom she'd alienated, was getting married to a big magic hating buffoon named Vernon. She'd spent the majority of her Christmas break wandering the Muggle streets by herself, wondering just what had become of the little girl who used to run around these streets- the free spirit. She had been funny, spunky and fearless, and now that girl had been reduced to a lonely, confused and seemingly worthless mess.

She stopped in front of a large window and stared at her reflection, just as she had done all those weeks ago in Divination when it had all begun. She noticed not the clothes she was wearing or what her hair looked like, but noticed her eyes. She'd been so busy focusing on everything that had changed, and had to change, that she hadn't noticed what hadn't changed.

She was Lily Evans. She didn't need Marlene, Severus, or James Potter. It didn't matter what they thought. Who were they, to rule her life? She saw the determination in her eyes, felt the confidence she'd used to carry around with her return, and turned away from her reflection, heading back to her house.

"Oh look what's back," she heard a familiar drawl, and looked over to see the whale himself stumbling out of her kitchen, because where else would he have been? Judging from what he had said, she was positive her parents weren't at home, just Petunia and Vernon. Joy.

"I'm surprised you could fit through that door Vernon," she said simply, before heading up the stairs, grinning as she felt his narrowed eyes following after her.

_If you miss us, just remember, we're supporting you_

The phrase flashed through her mind, and she smiled slightly to herself, knowing deep down that whatever happened, that would always be true. She knew that she couldn't bring herself back without gaining her confidence, which she'd gain with attention, and in order for that to happen, she was going to have to make some major changes. She looked in the mirror in her bedroom and reached into her drawer, pulling out the large pair of scissors, her eyes glued to the fiery hair growing out of her head.

* * *

James Potter sat morosely in the train cabin he'd sat in ever since his first trip to Hogwarts, across from Sirius, Peter sitting next to Sirius, the two of them chattering away incessantly. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Lily ever since the day he'd stopped talking to her. He'd watched her when she didn't know he was looking, and seen the slump of her shoulders; the dead look in her eyes. She even smelled of loneliness (well, no, she smelled of lavenders, as Sirius had been only too happy to point out). He'd wanted to talk to her so badly, but every time he'd made it within five feet of her, he'd remember the look on her face when he'd asked her out, which had been enough for him to simply turn around and walk back the way he had come.

"Oi, mate, stop moping will you?" Sirius called, throwing an (empty) Chocolate Frog box at him, "You're like a bloody dead person nowadays," he said, and James smiled slightly, the cuss word bringing back friendly banter with Lily.

"There, he's smiling!" Peter said happily, mistaking his smile for happiness as opposed to what it was.

"Really Prongs, it's not that bloody difficult to smile. Stop moping, she's just a bird, there's hundreds, millions, like her," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"She's not just a bird, Sirius," James sighed, and he saw Sirius' expression soften slightly

"Yeah, I know mate," he said sympathetically, before turning back to the deck of Exploding Snap lying between himself and Peter, "Alright Wormtail, let's see if you singe your eyebrows again."

They never got to find out however, as just then, the door to their compartment slammed open to reveal a breathless, wide-eyed Remus.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius yelled, as the door shut with a similarly loud bang, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you look so…whatever you are?" he continued, frowning as he took in Remus' appearance.

At his words, a large grin spread across Remus' face, and he turned to look James right in the eye, "Lily's back," he said, and the three other boys in his compartment frowned.

"We're all back," Peter said uncertainly, looking at Sirius, who only shrugged, an acknowledgement of their shared confusion.

"No," Remus said, grinning, "I mean, _Lily Evans is back_."

"So are we?" James said uncertainly, watching his friend with concern, "Are you okay Moony? You look…"

"Crazed," Sirius finished, and James shot him an amused look before turning back to Remus.

"Why don't you sit down?" he advised, and Remus shook his head.

"You're not understanding me!" he said.

"Probably because you're not making any sense," Sirius retorted, causing Peter to snort with laughter.

"I'm saying that _Lily Evans is back_! No more morose, lonely, depressed Lily Evans," he said, and James' eyebrows rose, "She's spunky, and funny, and confident and everything again," he said, grinning.

"You can't possibly know that from one prefects meeting," Sirius snorted, turning back to his cards.

"Heads up," Peter squeaked, looking down the hall outside the compartment door, the only one able to see in that direction. Sirius scrambled over to press his cheek against the glass.

"Bloody hell," he gasped, turning to Remus in wonder. Remus nodded, grinning.

"Honestly, it cant be that obvious," James snorted.

"She's coming this way," Peter squeaked, quickly seating himself upright. Sirius darted back to his seat, bashing his back against the window in his attempt to look normal. Remus sat down quickly, right next to the door.

"You're all imbeciles," James chuckled.

"Just watch the bloody door Prongs," Sirius hissed. James shook his head fondly and looked towards the door, just as Lily Evans appeared. She looked inside the compartment, saw who it was, and smiled, before pulling open the door.

"Hey guys," she grinned. James had to remind himself to shut his mouth, not that he would have been the only one gaping at her, "Remus could I talk to you for a second?" she asked, and Remus nodded, turning to smirk at James, before standing up and exiting the compartment. Lily gave them all a wave before shutting the door behind her.

"So much for moving on, eh Prongs?" Sirius sniggered, observing his friends' dumbstruck expression.

James shook his head, staring outside the compartment at her. She had cut her hair. All of it. Her hair was short, ending just under her jaw. Her eyes were covered in black eyeliner and mascara, making her hair seem more fiery than usual. Her pale skin seemed to glow in comparison to the dark colours surrounding her eyes, which only accentuated her green eyes. She hadn't changed into her robes yet, dressed only in tight blue muggle jeans and a black shirt held up only by a strap around her neck- a halter neck, his mother called it. But other than the obvious, something else had changed as well. She seemed to radiate confidence. She talked with gusto, James noticed, as he watched her hands move as she attempted to explain something to Remus. He noticed Remus was talking now, and saw her nod her head, her green eyes seemingly massive, and bring her left hand up to push back a lock of her hair.

"Holy hell," he croaked, and heard Sirius snicker.

"Merlin, I am so glad I never fell for that one, or else I'd look as dumbstruck as you right now," he said, grinning at James, who groaned, and hid his face in his hands.

"I'm never moving on," James moaned, and he heard both Sirius and Peter laugh. The sound of the compartment door sliding open caused his head to snap up, to see Remus heading into the compartment. Lily was nowhere to be seen, "where'd she go?" he asked, and a smirk appeared on Remus' face.

"I don't know," he said honestly, chuckling, before sitting down, "Now do you buffoons understand what I meant by, Lily Evans is back?"

"Lily Evans _is _back," Sirius nodded, "You were right Prongs, that wasn't the real Lily last term," he said.

"She's back," James said, unsure if he was talking about her confidence returning, or the way she was now circulating inside his head.

* * *

The feast was spectacular, as always, Lily noted, as she sat at the Gryffindor Table. She was by herself, as expected, but found she didn't mind much anymore. The break had been good for her, in terms of spending time alone and learning not to mind it much. She figured if anyone wanted to talk to her, they would. To be fair, she didn't feel like talking to anyone either. She replayed the events on the train in her head, particularly the part that involved the four boys, namely James Potter.

Something strange had been happening recently in her head. Whenever she'd do something, she'd instantly wonder how James Potter would react. She'd wondered how he'd react to the hair, the makeup, the confidence. She'd motivated herself by picturing his reactions. She'd worn riskier clothing so she'd be able to achieve a better reaction. She had been so nervous to see him as she made her way down the train to see Remus about patrolling, to ask him if he wouldn't mind patrolling with her, and if so to give her the days he'd want to, as she wasn't too fond of the other Prefects (he'd agreed, thankfully). She had been almost sweating as she made her way to their compartment, however, as soon as she saw him, she had felt completely calm, her nervousness seeming almost ridiculous. However, when she was talking to Remus, she couldn't help but occasionally glance over at him.

She'd probably gone insane or something. It was just him. James Potter. Whom she'd known for 6 years now. Just James.

The vibration of the bench snapped her out of her musings and she looked up to see a third year she vaguely recognized sitting across from her.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she replied, her eyes flickering down the table towards the four boys, noticing that James Potter was watching them. Her eyes shot back to the boy in front of her as James' eyes shifted to her. Hopefully he hadn't noticed that she had been looking at him.

"I'm John," he said, and she smiled.

"Hi, I'm-"

"Lily Evans, I know," he said, flushing slightly.

"Can I help you?" she asked after a moment's silence, and he cleared his throat.

"Er, no, I just wanted to come tell you that I like the haircut," he said, and Lily felt her face split into a grin.

"Thank you, John," she said, and he nodded.

"Would it be okay if I sat here?" he asked, and she shrugged.

"Knock yourself out," she said, and he grinned.

"How was your break?" he asked.

"It was fine, I suppose, spent a lot of time with my crabby sister and her crabbier fiancé," she said, and he wrinkled his nose.

"Sucks," he said, and she laughed.

"How was yours?" she asked politely, and he grinned.

"It was amazing! I spent the majority playing two-a-side Quidditch with my brothers, there are four of us by the way, and I scored so many amazing goals, like, they were Quidditch Cup level shots!" he said, growing progressively more excited. Lily raised her eyebrows at his excitement, but couldn't stop the smile growing on her face as he got more and more exuberant. It was adorable, "I tried to teach myself the Wronksi Feint," he added.

"Oh, and did you get it?" she asked, and he flushed.

"Er, no, I broke my nose instead, but it was so worth it," he said, and Lily laughed.

"Well, well, John, trying to snatch an older bird, are we?" Lily turned around to see Sirius standing behind her, arms crossed, smirking devilishly at the young boy.

"N-no we were just talking," John replied looking, Lily noticed, frightened.

"Didn't look like talking from where I was sitting," Sirius said, causing the boy to shrink slightly in his seat.

"Oh sod off Sirius," Lily said, feeling bad for John, "It was just friendly chatting," she said, and Sirius grinned.

"And does John just want to be friends here?" he asked. Lily noticed John's cheeks redden, a dead giveaway, and turned to glare at Sirius, feeling bad for the kid.

"I have to go Lily," John said, "I-I'll see you around…maybe," he added, eying Sirius, before getting up and running back to his friends.

"That was mean," she said bluntly, glaring at Sirius, and smirked.

"He didn't want to be just friends there Evans," he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"Because I'm that vulnerable to thirteen year olds," she said, and Sirius grinned.

"I was just protecting you, love," he said, teasing.

"Well I can take care of myself, thanks," she said, getting up off the bench, "And don't call me love," she said, shooting him a look over her shoulder.

"I thought you'd fully removed the stick," Sirius said, and she rolled her eyes, a smile forming on her face.

"I forgot about the stick," she said, and Sirius quirked a brow.

"You saying this all isn't about the stick removal?" he asked, and she turned to look him right in the eye.

"Let's just say I managed to breakout," she said, before grinning, "Besides, how can you remove a stick without a support team?" she asked, before turning around and heading out of the Great Hall.

Sirius chuckled and headed over to the other three, "And?" Peter asked, and Sirius shrugged.

"She said she managed to breakout," he said.

"_I meant what's your breakout plan for tomorrow?"_

"_My breakout plan?" she echoed questioningly._

"_Yes, the stick from bum removal plan," he said, "I'd call it that but it sounds pretty vulgar."_

James smiled into his soup as the memory replayed itself.

"She said it had nothing to do with the stick up her bum," Sirius said, and James chuckled.

"No, it had everything to do with the stick up her bum," he said, earning him three questioning looks.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, and James shook his head.

He wanted to keep that one secret he had with Lily to himself.

* * *

"Oh! Hello!" Lily squeaked as she bumped into him on the way to Charms the next morning.

"Hello," James said, smiling at her uncertainly.

"You on your way to Charms?" she asked, and he quirked a brow at her.

"Where else would I be going?"

"Well knowing you, you may be ditching and heading to Hogsmeade," she said simply, smiling.

"Not on the first day back Evans, have some sense," he teased, and she laughed as he fell into step beside her.

"How was your break?" she asked, and he snorted.

"Not as eventful as yours, I'd bet," he said, and she flushed slightly.

"A haircut isn't that big of an event," she said, "Everyone else seems to think it is for some reason," she added, and James chuckled.

"It's not the haircut people are talking about," he said, and Lily smirked.

"I know exactly what they're talking about, thanks," she said, and he chuckled.

"So what was your motivation?" he asked, and she flushed.

_You_, she thought, _seeing your reaction_

"Just wanted to get it done with and be myself," she said.

"Well, yourself looks good," James smiled, holding the door to the Charms classroom open.

"Thanks," she smiled, ducking under his arm into the classroom.

"Settle down, settle down," the Professor Flitwick's squeaky yet stern voice commanded, and the two of them fell into the closest seats, sitting together at the back of the room. Lily felt her heart rate speed up as she felt James' arm brush against her own as he dropped his bag on the floor. They were so close their shoulders were touching, and she felt the butterflies burst up in her stomach once more. "You're being assigned a project you will be delivering to the class in four short weeks," he said, and Lily heard James groan irritably from beside her, and grinned, "You will be working in pairs. The task is to create your own defensive spell," he said excitedly, and Lily sat up straighter, intrigued by the task. James chuckled and she felt herself flush slightly. What the bloody hell was happening?

"Do we get to choose partners or will you assign them?" a voice asked.

_Please don't give me James_, Lily pleaded, knowing that she wouldn't be able to concentrate. Given the response she'd just had to him sitting next to her, there was really only one explanation for her thinking about him so much over the break.

"I will, of course, be assigning partners," Flitwick announced, and there was a unanimous groan, "You are to work with the person sitting next to you. There are no rules or limitations- simply create your own spell."

Lily and James exchanged a glance, before James grinned, "Well this should be fun." Lily felt her heart stutter and held back a groan as James reached into his bag to pull out a notebook so they could begin planning.

She had somehow managed to fancy James Potter.

* * *

"James! What is the number one rule of us spending inordinate amounts of time together?" Lily huffed, allowing her head to fall onto her forearms as James sniggered. It was three weeks into the term, and their project was due the following week.

"No flirting," James said, and Lily nodded.

"Exactly!" she squawked, and James sniggered.

"Well, love, I've always been a rule-breaker," he said, and she glared at him, before lifting the notebook next to her and flinging it at him. He, of course, caught it, given his Quidditch reflexes, and shot her a grin, "So much violence for someone so little."

"Oh shove off Potter," she grumbled, fighting off a smile.

In the last few weeks, she and James and spent every living, breathing minute together for the project. They'd (stupidly) decided to create a charm, which would cause one's opponent to experience temporary blindness for approximately a minute, which would be long enough for you to kill them. It had been James' idea. Lily had believed him to be mad, but after the endless reading she had done after he'd suggested it, it had sounded plausible.

"I cannot believe I allowed you to choose the charm we'd create," she grumbled, and James grinned.

"It's because you love me so much, Lil," he said, and she glared at him, attempting to calm down the all-too-familiar butterflies and racing pulse.

"Again with the rule-breaking!"

"Everyone loves a troublemaker," he said, and she huffed, crossing her arms. Her clothes were in disorder, her hair probably resembled his and she was exhausted.

"It seems as perfect as we're ever going to get it," she said, looking down at the endless calculations on the library table in front of her, "Now we just need to apply it on a human."

"On who?" he asked warily, and she looked up at him. She'd come to really love spending time with James in the past few weeks. She couldn't remember the number of times she'd woken up on his shoulder on the Common Room couch after a long night of work. She'd actually managed to accept the possibility that she was falling for James Potter. Possibility would be putting it lightly- she was already gone. She couldn't imagine trying it out on him…what if he got hurt?

"Do it on me," she said, and he shook his head.

"No way, do it on me."

"I offered first, now shut up," she said, standing up.

"Lil, it's too dangerous," James said, his temper flaring up, "We'll do it on me."

"No," she said, crossing her arms, "They worked just fine on the school owls."

"It's a huge risk, you idiot," James said, and Lily shrugged.

"Right back at you," she said, and he glared at her. She picked his wand up from the table and tossed it at him, "Now do it."

"Lil-"

"Shut up James," she said, standing a few feet in front of him. She took a deep breath, "If anything happens just take me to the Hospital Wing. No big deal."

She could hear him muttering obscenities under his breath, but soon a resigned look passed across his face, and he sighed, "Fine, but if anything happens to you, I'll kill you," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes. James waved his wand and all of a sudden, Lily was blind.

"James! James it works!" she squealed.

"Really?" she heard him laugh, and she nodded her head.

"Yes, or else I'd be looking right at you. I cant see a bloody thing."

"Oh really?" James asked, and Lily snorted.

"That's what the spell was supposed to do, wasn't it?" she teased. There was no response, "Hello?" her question was once again greeted with silence, "James!"

"Shh," his voice was extremely close to her and Lily felt herself freeze. She felt something brush a lock of hair away from her forehead, and brought her hand up to swat it away, only to have her hand caught by what she now realized was James' hand.

"James what are you doing?" he didn't respond much more and Lily huffed, "Stop being so bloody quiet you buf-"

James cut her off by leaning down and lightly pressing his lips to hers. Lily's squeak faded into a soft moan and she felt her eyelids close, not that it changed anything. She lifted her hand up, blindly feeling for his face, then slid her hand up into his messy, _messy _hair. She felt one of his arms close around her waist, pulling her towards him, and wrapped one arm around his neck as the other continued to play with his hair.

She felt an odd bubbly feeling in her eyes and squeaked, pulling away from him, to press her hands to her eyes.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, his voice, sounding lower than usual, laced with concern, "Lil!"

"It's just…it feels odd," she said, and blinked, jumping as she saw James' face inches from her own, "Oh, hello!" she said, grinning, and watched as the fear and concern melted off James' face and a breathtaking grin replaced it.

"Hello," he said, kissing her softly once more.

"Hey James?" she asked, and he quirked a brow at her, "Yes."

"Yes…what?" he asked, frowning, and her grin widened.

"I was answering your question," she said, and he rolled his eyes.

"Woman you're so bloody confusing," he grumbled, and she laughed.

"The will you go out with me question," she said, and James blinked.

"I…did I ask?" he asked, frowning, and Lily giggled, getting up on her tiptoes to press another kiss to his lips.

"Well, I never technically replied the last time," she said, and he snorted.

"There's a guarantee on these kinds of things," he said, tightening his arms around her waist, "You have to pay if you answer past the bloody time limit," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" she asked, and James grinned at her, before leaning down and kissing her once again.

* * *

As she sat in Divination, she looked back at the reflection she'd stared at all those months ago. Her hair was short and messy (thanks to her lunchtime activity with James), her skirt was above knee length, an inch of skin showing between the hem of her skirt and her knee length socks. She wasn't wearing her tie, and the first two buttons of her shirt were unbuttoned, the sleeves rolled up slightly. She no longer resembled the perfect schoolgirl she'd detested so much. Her eyes shifted slightly to the figure sitting next to her. He hadn't changed a bit from what he had looked like that day. His hair was messy (messier than usual thanks to her), his shirt was untucked, and his tie was loose. Nothing about him screamed 'neat'. She eyed their reflections in the window and felt a smile cross her face. She reached under the table and grabbed his hand, tangling their fingers together. He turned to her, grinned, and then turned back to Professor Vague.

It shocked her slightly, in a pleasant way, to realize that somehow, now, they matched.

* * *

**Hey guys! This fic was a bit heavy, and maybe a bit boring, so I'm sorry for that, but it seems to have cleared my writers' block (a little). I'm actually doing an internship at a law firm this month, and have a lot of free time, so my writing time has greatly increased. Hopefully the next TMATSS chapter will be up this week. Just wanted to say- I actually had a few images that triggered this fic, that I found on 9gag (Because this is what I spend my time doing these days), of red hair, and they're what I imagine Lily's hair to look like in this fic, so I'll write the links below.**

**Lily's short hair - After you reach 9gag, edit the URL, typing in (slash) gag (slash) 4902790 after it it. **

**I know the spacing and everything is messed up in the links but if I just put the link there it would be blank, which doesn't help anyone.**

**R & R**

**(: **


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